Preface
This is a record and reflection of my life from 2023-06-13 to 2023-06-21.
This week, I traveled to many places and experienced some emotional fluctuations. After returning, I was busy with various trivial matters, which is why I’m only now sitting down to write this weekly review.
I went back to Beijing to visit my former company and met with my previous leaders. We discussed many topics including web3, AI, and various technical issues. I had dinner with old colleagues, drinking and chatting about different life trajectories and mindsets. I attended a Drink & Draw event, which was novel and pleasant. I went on another trip to Shanghai with Boyi, who happened to be on a business trip - a familiar yet precious experience. On Saturday, I participated in HZLUG and met many developers I’ve long admired on Twitter. There were many other interesting events.
Also, I’ve changed the song to “Tenderness” by Mayday.
Views on Love
In fact, I often mentioned love in earlier weekly reviews. It was like a place for emotional catharsis. As my life focus gradually shifted, I went to the other extreme and stopped mentioning it altogether.
It wasn’t until my birthday reflection, when I had to recall the darkest moment of the past year that I couldn’t bypass, that I picked up some memories again. A few days ago, when talking with Ni, I began to realize that what I couldn’t let go of was just the memory and the incomprehension and so-called hurt caused by what I thought was an abrupt ending, rather than a specific person or even a concrete relationship.
I knew that whether to move on or to reorganize my life, I needed to face these experiences and internalize them into my own views on love. But I chose to shelve it, even immersing myself in a state of self-deception, unwilling to face and think about it. I just told myself, “It’s only been a year, no rush.” Perhaps people ultimately love themselves more, preferring to instinctively protect themselves.
An unexpected conversation made me realize this self-deception, and I found that I was gradually losing the courage to face love. My thoughts on love were so tangled that I could hardly distinguish them. I was afraid of the emotions sprouting within me, fearing that my flawed self couldn’t bear such a complex relationship, and also fearing that I might be insincere in my momentary happiness.
Perhaps what one needs to overcome at any stage is always the self. I probably really need some time to reorganize my views on love, to rediscover myself, and to start anew.
Life State
My life state is similar. I originally thought that with the extra time from remote work, I could use it to adjust my daily routine, focus on health, or do more things I wanted to do. But many times, I still put my mind and time into work and some learning. It’s not that I’m trying to outdo others, but it seems that I often have an indifferent attitude towards other aspects of my life, having a kind of detached observation of my own life.
As I want to get my life and everything around me back on track, I’ve started to follow a joke about “walking myself every day”. I’ve begun to pay attention to sleep again, get up early for a run, and reorganize my reading list, reading a few pages after coming back from a run.
The next morning, walking to the ancient town district by the river, seeing the delicate sunlight sprinkling through the gaps in the branches onto the ground, I found an irrepressible desire to share after taking a photo. It seems I’m gradually regaining some long-unfamiliar expectations for life itself. Where the heart leads, the feet follow.
Personal Life Snapshots
I experienced a Drink & Draw event for the first time. Although I only did the “Drink” part at the scene, it was an interesting experience. On stage, models were creating various scenes, while below, many art enthusiasts were immersed in their work. Some captured the essence with just a few strokes, while others meticulously traced their own interpretations. I observed from the side, seeming to find some tranquility.
I’ve been to Shanghai many times, so I didn’t take many photos. But this time was a rare opportunity to explore leisurely without a tight schedule.
Invited by a friend, I hurried to Shanghai early Sunday morning to attend Rust China Conf 2023. As a Gopher infiltrating the event, I didn’t understand most of it, but the peripherals were really nice. I feel like the clothes, bags, and totes I’ve received from events over these few months are enough for me to wear until next year.
I was also very happy to meet Teacher “Tiny Bear” from the Upchain community, introduced by a friend. When I first started learning about blockchain and smart contracts, I watched many tutorials on Upchain. I never thought I’d meet him and even help prepare a set of video tutorials on the Solidity Foundry framework. It feels a bit unreal, like breaking through a dimensional wall.
And there’s the cute Nie Nie!
Interesting Things and Objects
Input
Although most interesting inputs are automatically synced in the “Yu’s Life” Telegram channel, I’ll still select some to list here. It feels more like a newsletter.
Articles
- [Back to the Beginning of the Story: So What is Web3 - Atlas]
- [Programming for AI: It’s Time to Sit Down and Deal with Uncertainty | Lyrics Manager]
- [Goro’s Philosophy: Unbound by Time and Society - Huahua Cafe]
- [Daring Fireball: Not That Kind of ‘Open’]
- [You can’t trust Google]
Videos
Recording some interesting videos I’ve watched:
- [Self-rescue from a Depressing Life]
Podcasts
- [EP14 Hard Ground Interview: Talking to logseq Co-founder, Looking at Silicon Valley Tycoon’s Legendary Investment]
Music
- [A Small Love Song feat. Naho]
- [Spring Thief by Yorushika]
- [We Have Nothing in Our Hands, But by RAM WIRE]
Anime
- Demon Slayer: Swordsmith Village Arc, Ah! Great, Nezuko! Everyone go watch it!
- Oshi no Ko, continuing to follow!
TV Series
- Black Mirror Season 6, the first episode is still very good, but it certainly lacks the shock of watching the first two seasons.
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