Preface
This piece is a reflection on life from July 1st to July 9th, 2024.
This week, I maintained an early rising routine for several days, dedicating time to reading and studying with high efficiency. However, establishing a regular pattern still requires time and adjustment. I’m also exploring how to enter and switch work modes more swiftly. I’m simultaneously reading several books: “Atlas Shrugged”, “Normal People”, and “What My Bones Know”. A conversation with my senior about her current read, “Stoner”, sparked some thoughts about various dimensions of life. Many other interesting events unfolded as well.
Normal People and Stoner
“Normal People” is an English TV series I watched long ago, perhaps in 2020 or 2021. It left a deep impression on me. Recently, recalling it, I decided to read the original novel. Although much of the content revolves around love and school trivialities, I saw much of myself in the male protagonist - the timidity and insecurity rooted deep within, the obsession with life’s perplexities yet unwillingness to be ordinary, and ultimately, the resignation to life as it is. “Stoner” was one of the books I chose from a recent lucky draw book blind box. I’ve read it twice before, and while the plot details have faded, there’s a sense of renewed insight with each recollection. It uses plain strokes to outline life in its original form.
These two books, when connected, led me to reconsider some value propositions about self and life.
Life Is Here
Last night, my senior and I had a rare outing to a nearby Japanese restaurant. Our attire was quite amusing as we set out from our respective homes. She wore an elegant dress on top, paired with slippers; I wasn’t much better, sporting a dress shirt with athletic shorts and slippers. As we sat at the counter waiting for our meal and chatting, there was a sense of half ceremony, half everyday life in our mismatched outfits, yet it didn’t feel strange - just like life companions.
We often say “life is elsewhere”, implying that life elsewhere always seems more attractive. But looking back, life right here has its own unique charm.
We talked about our current lives, feeling there isn’t much to complain about. She’s doing well in a job she neither particularly likes nor dislikes, while I’m content in my own field. The pace of life in Hangzhou is better than the bustle of Beijing; we often take walks or enjoy home-cooked meals. Yet we both seem to have expectations - she wants to paint, and I want to leave this comfort zone to start a new chapter of life in another country. But these expectations are masked by our satisfactory current state of life. It’s harder to extricate ourselves, after all, decisions not driven by real needs are always more difficult, as if we bear the responsibility of disrupting the tranquility of life.
The Illusory Meaning
During my college years and the first couple of years after graduation, I often had juniors asking for advice about switching to coding or making life choices. Even now, some friends who know me from technical tutorials or courses ask about learning Web3 and industry insights. I’ve always been cautious and sincere in responding to them, often thinking that if I had received some advice earlier, I might have avoided some detours. But I’m wary of my tone and stance, not wanting to become “preachy” due to survivor bias.
So I often meticulously list out pros and cons and my own thoughts based on their individual situations, sending seven or eight consecutive messages, still worried I might have missed something. But in eight or nine out of ten cases, they would end up asking these few questions, as if everything I said was irrelevant and not the answer they wanted, with a sense of absurd revelation:
“Is computer science very lucrative? How can I successfully switch to coding?”
“Are Web3 salaries really high?”
I used to like a quote from a long-ago admired but now inactive blog writer, which appeared at the end of each article. It roughly meant:
“I tell you all the truths I know, so that you won’t live this life well.”
Sometimes I wonder if it’s precisely because I pursue illusory meaning too much, merely clinging to some principles, that I’ve made myself less happy. The more one knows, the harder it becomes to move forward. Life is but thirty thousand days; perhaps if we were content with external things, content with life itself, life would be more “relaxed”.
So there was a long period of silence, no longer questioning myself and the world, enjoying the present, only to harvest more emptiness.
Other Matters
Work State
Recently, I’ve been working on a somewhat troublesome requirement for about a week. Technically, there aren’t any particularly difficult points - it’s mainly about reading configurations from the blockchain and scheduling various service restarts (but not from the k8s or other deployment level, rather the program needs to handle it internally). Therefore, there are many details to consider in the chain, requiring focus and meticulousness.
This week, I also practiced getting up at 5 AM for immersive blog writing, reading, learning Rust, etc., gradually adjusting to work mode around 9 AM until evening. Because the efficiency of early rising is quite high, I found it actually difficult/slow to switch from a learning state to a fully focused work state. This is what Randy mentioned in last week’s “Code Outside” anniversary live stream about “single-threading” and “context switching” - the inability to deeply think about and do two things simultaneously.
I also recall last week when I went to work with my colleague Ares at a coffee shop in Liangzhu. Although we only chatted casually during work, not strongly related to the work content, it seemed to immediately draw us into a good work atmosphere. Sometimes it’s not so easy to achieve this at home, which is probably one of the drawbacks of remote work.
Daily Life
Recently, the doormat at home is this (The mental state of contemporary young people 🤣)
Interesting Things and Objects
Input
Although most interesting inputs are automatically synchronized in the “Yu’s Life” Telegram channel, I still select some to list here, feeling more like a newsletter.
Bookmarks
Books
- Normal People, I really liked this English TV series, and these days while reading other books, I suddenly thought of this one and decided to read the original novel.
- What My Bones Know, I read about half of it last year. These days, thinking about family and psychological healing issues, I’m reading about a chapter a day.
- Atlas Shrugged, a gift from a reader, I’ve read the first two chapters.
Articles
Podcasts
Movies
- The Swimmer, I feel the Chinese translation of the title “Young Woman and the Sea” as “The Swimmer’s Heart” is a bit too bland. After watching, “The Old Lady and the Sea” might be more fitting 🤣 The themes of sportsmanship, femininity, and inspiration aren’t particularly novel, but the portrayal of the protagonist’s growth and her support system is just right. The protagonist’s mother and coach Abby are also impressive. My senior had previously signed up for the Hong Kong Victoria Harbour cross-harbour swim and is now preparing for the Qiantang River swim in Hangzhou. While the difficulty can’t compare to the English Channel, watching this seems to have given me a better understanding of the obsession and charm involved.
Videos
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